A couple of things have brought me to writing this post today.
First up, Ben Naga’s mind-boggling poem “Identity Crisis“. Go and read it, then come right back
Second, a comment from someone close to me, made in the heat of an argument, along the lines of “you make out you’re this wise person, but really you’re not”
I feel like a fake.
In some blog posts, I point the reader in the direction of words of wisdom I have read from others (for example here, here and here) Words of wisdom that are inspirational to me and that I think may be inspirational to others. I recognise the wisdom of others, and aspire to follow them. I may fail. I do fail. But I try again.
I produce pages in my journal where I try to take on this wisdom and present it in such a way as it makes sense to me (and may, again, inspire others). For example here, here and here. I do not always succeed in following my own advice. But I try again.
I aspire to be kind and compassionate. But often I am unkind and impatient.
I aspire to live in the moment. But often I am plagued by regrets about the past and doubts about the future.
I aspire to be free from attachment and ego. But often I feel insecure and in need of reassurance.
I aspire to radiate peace and happiness. But often I radiate negativity and pessimism.
So, if I share inspirational words with you here, know that I am aspiring to follow them. But often I fail. I am not wise. I do not have all the answers.
Maybe I am a fake. It’s easy to present a wise persona online, where the nitty-gritty of daily life and interaction drops away.
But maybe I am just a work-in-progress, trying my best to tread this path – sometimes I stumble, sometimes I fall, hopefully I get up and try again.