Blog Award Paralysis

I’ve been nervous of writing this post. I don’t want people to think I’m ungrateful. I don’t want people to think I don’t appreciate their readership or their support or their kindness. I love getting feedback; I love reading your comments; I love the fact that I may have inspired someone/anyone! But I don’t think I am comfortable participating in Blog Awards.

As a rule, to accept these awards, there is a requirement to then go on to nominate other blogs. And this is one area where I struggle and feel gripped by a paralysis of indecision. I love many blogs, for many different reasons. But to choose a particular number and nominate them feels fraught with danger to me! What if I miss someone whose feelings may be hurt by my not nominating them? What if I nominate someone who also feels paralysed by it? Am I adding to their pressure, to their to-do-list?

The other aspect that is hard for me is accepting praise. I try to keep in mind this quote from Shantideva:

While there are some who criticise me
Why rejoice when others praise me?
While there are some who praise me
Why be offended when others criticise me?

In trying not to take criticism too seriously, I strive also not to take praise too seriously either.

Cheryl Wilflong, The Meditative Gardener has a great post about this.

She says, “Praise is fleeting. Blame (the opposite of praise) is also fleeting, believe it or not.

We try ever so hard to build a “self” up with praise (or tear our-“selves” down with blame). Yet praise and blame simply blow through our lives like a breeze or like a tornado. Then they are gone. Gone. Really gone. “

So, in accepting an award, it feels a little like I am trying to pin down the praise, trying to make it solid. It just doesn’t feel right.

So, to those who have nominated me for an award, thank you, but I prefer not to accept.

Virtuous Gracious, thank you so much for nominating me for the Hug Award. I am flattered and honoured.

Ross, thank you so much for nominating me for the Versatile Blogger Award. I am flattered and honoured.

Eranttranscendentalist, thank you so much for nominating me for the Very Inspiring Blogger award. I am flattered and honoured.

I hope I haven’t offended anyone with this post, or seemed ungrateful or churlish. I wanted to get it out in the open.

So, please, if you would like to award me then award me simply with your presence, your continued readership, your comments. I love to receive them and I open my heart to you.

Thank you for reading.  It means a lot.

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28 thoughts on “Blog Award Paralysis

  1. Ben Naga says:

    Sound reasoning. You are not unique in having these thoughts either. 🙂 Awards are in several ways a two-edged sword and you describe some of the dilemmas perfectly.

  2. I agree with Ben Naga; furthermore, I really appreciate that you are being true to your practice and inner guidance.

  3. Motherfunker says:

    After expressing it out loud, the fear loses its power and now we can move on! X

  4. You know… I can relate honestly. Not necessarily for the same reasons though. After blogging for short period of time the “award” feels really sweet and nice and how grateful I am to get it. Then you get the next one, and then a few weeks later… another one. All with the same basic rules and then it starts to not get “fun” anymore but it seems like work. They become more like spam emails than a heart felt “wow.” And I agree, the comments that we get are much more meaningful than some “award” that really isn’t much of an award anyway. I feel ZERO offense to this, by the way. Hugs lady!

  5. I totally hear you! I am still deciding what to do with the pile of Awards I am sitting on because on one hand it’s a lovely thing to be remembered and thought of but I’m still deciding if I’m truly comfortable with the whole idea of the Awards. Still thinking about this one. Thank you for being so open and much respect to you for that! Hugs, Sharon

    • vivjm says:

      Thanks Sharon! It seems like it’s a dilemma for lots of bloggers. I’m glad I got it “out there” even though I found it difficult to express.

  6. Andria says:

    I haven’t been selected for these awards, but I have read a variety of posts by folks like you who aren’t entirely comfortable with them. It’s not unlike the Who’s Who Among High School Students we have around here. I can totally appreciate what you say about them being more work than anything else. I support you!!

  7. That’s really cool that your were nominated for all these awards, but I can see the source of your discomfort. If I had to choose, I would prefer the comments and insight of loyal readers over an award any day.

  8. boomiebol says:

    Great thoughts here, but i guess as with everything in life, whether we choose to or not sometimes we find ourselves offending people. I accept the blogs and try to give it to fellow bloggers who come to my mind at the time i am writing the post…but once a month or so, i do a post to appreciate all who read, follow, and all support me.

    • vivjm says:

      I like the idea of the monthly appreciation post. That way you can “award” other bloggers with appreciation without potentially adding to their to do list. Nice 🙂

  9. Arjuna says:

    I’ve noticed several blogs that don’t accept rewards, and some have large followings so I don’t think it offends anyone. I can understand all the thoughts expressed here, having received several awards myself. I choose to accept them, because it is a good opportunity to raise the profile of blogs that you like. This is particularly helpful for newer blogs. It’s a matter of personal choice, though.

    • vivjm says:

      I think you have a good point re the opportunity to raise the profile of blogs that you like. I think I may start doing some “blog love” posts to point people towards those blogs, without imposing any pressure on those bloggers to do the same. Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  10. Thank you for this very gentle and reasoned clarification of the issues presented by Blog Award Paralysis…it has been very illuminating for me as a newbie 🙂

  11. Thank you for your wonderful comment about my little peice. I hope to help all beings reach a true and peaceful place in the heart of dhamma.If I have helped you in any way then I hope you touch some one too .Loving kindness and peace Luang Por Roberto

  12. Jena says:

    During a parenting class a few years ago, the teacher described praise as simply another form of judgment. I appreciated reading this, and your thoughtfulness about choosing to opt-it of the awards stuff. Looking forward to scrolling through more of your writing.

    • vivjm says:

      Yes, I agreed with your teacher that praise can be another form of judgment. I keep meaning to read Alfie Kohn’s book “Punished by Rewards” – have you read it? I’m glad that you liked the post 🙂

  13. gonerustic says:

    I applaud you for being honest about this! I’m not into the blog award thing either, and I just say ‘thank you’ when it happens and leave it at that. I don’t follow it up, or commit to do so, and it’s encouraging to see that others such as yourself also feel that way! =D

  14. Excellent! The awards have always felt a bit like chain letters. I agree with others in the comments, too, saying thank you and then doing nothing more. Like that you put all your thoughts down so clearly.

  15. lalinsocal says:

    Perfectly expressed and congrats on the strength post 🙂

I will reply to comments here on the blog, so please check back if you are looking for a response! I love hearing from you x

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