A Fake or a Work-in-Progress?

A couple of things have brought me to writing this post today.

First up, Ben Naga’s mind-boggling poem “Identity Crisis“. Go and read it, then come right back 🙂

Second, a comment from someone close to me, made in the heat of an argument, along the lines of “you make out you’re this wise person, but really you’re not”

I feel like a fake.

In some blog posts, I point the reader in the direction of words of wisdom I have read from others (for example here, here and here) Words of wisdom that are inspirational to me and that I think may be inspirational to others. I recognise the wisdom of others, and aspire to follow them. I may fail. I do fail. But I try again.

I produce pages in my journal where I try to take on this wisdom and present it in such a way as it makes sense to me (and may, again, inspire others). For example here, here and here.  I do not always succeed in following my own advice.  But I try again.

I aspire to be kind and compassionate.  But often I am unkind and impatient.

I aspire to live in the moment.  But often I am plagued by regrets about the past and doubts about the future.

I aspire to be free from attachment and ego.  But often I feel insecure and in need of reassurance.

I aspire to radiate peace and happiness.  But often I radiate negativity and pessimism.

So, if I share inspirational words with you here, know that I am aspiring to follow them.  But often I fail. I am not wise. I do not have all the answers.

Maybe I am a fake.  It’s easy to present a wise persona online, where the nitty-gritty of daily life and interaction drops away.

But maybe I am just a work-in-progress, trying my best to tread this path – sometimes I stumble, sometimes I fall, hopefully I get up and try again.

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15 thoughts on “A Fake or a Work-in-Progress?

  1. Motherfunker says:

    So you are not an enlightened Buddha yet, and rather, on the path to enlightenment? So are billions of us on this here green and blue speck of rock in our mind blowingly big universe! He went through some pretty hardcore extremes to attain his eureka moment. Really crazy extremes, which would push a person to the edge of the limits of their sanity…. Bit like motherhood I guess?! We live in an altogether different era from The Buddha, with different distractions, stimuli, choices, a faster paced lifestyle with SO MANY MORE things to get our heads round. It’s harder to be a Buddha now more than ever. Also…. He buggered off and left his wife and baby to have the luxury of sitting around naval gazing all alone – maybe he should have manned up and stuck around? the daily hardships of raising a family and taking full responsibility for your own kin, with all the joys and worries that brings, has its own nobility. You are magnificent my dear beautiful humble friend. I hear your worries….. I have the same ones about myself. Know that your blog is a like a candle in the dark on some of my more self doubting, what-the-fuck-should-I-be-doing-with-my-life days. Honestly. Keep the faith my gorgeous friend, you don’t need to be perfect, you are good enough just being the lovely thoughtful person that you are x x x x x

  2. What is the true measure of wisdom though? I would take this comment (said in the heat of the moment and intended to hurt) lightly, it is a comment from someone less secure about themselves, it sounds like someone lashing out in envy or jealousy to me.

    In highlighting your own weaknesses (we cannot always be all that we wish to be) with the intention to show how unwise you are, you have actually proven quite the opposite, for is it not a wise person who can reflect on ones own shortcomings, recognise ones own faults? Without such self awareness one can never grow as a human. The opposite of wisdom is ignorance, and you are far from ignorant dear friend.

    Keep going, trust in yourself and whilst others may question your integrity, do not allow these naysayers to make you question yourself. We cannot control what others may think of us, good or bad, but we can trust in what we know ourselves.

    • vivjm says:

      Thank you for your lovely comment. I suppose that maybe the people who cannot recognise their faults are the ones in trouble…
      You are right that the comment was made in the heat of the moment, and was not meant in the way that perhaps I took it. Anything that gives us pause to reflect can be a learning moment I think, and this is how I have treated it.

  3. boomiebol says:

    I think we all are a work in progress and there is nothing fake about that.Keep on your path, keep sharing the inspirational quotes, i am most certain it is a blessing to someone somewhere.

  4. Ben Naga says:

    Thanks for the mention. Work-in-progress sounds find to me. Who needs the pressure of pretending to be any more than that? When I attain perfection I’ll be sure to let you know how to do it. Meantime, don’t hold your breath. 😀

  5. What a wonderful follow-up to Ben Naga’s poem!! And, I agree with the other writers here–you are perfect as you are and, like all of us, could use a little improvement. That’s what these blogs are for–to help us work through the wisdom we are inspired to share with others so that we may have a practice of mindfulness that involves others who wish to engage. I really love your honesty and your inspirational art. Keep writing, friend!!

  6. I love you for who you are. I love you no matter what you do or what you become or how you become it. We are all flailing. We can but try our best and I know that you do – and that’s what I love about you. You care. You try. You stand by your beliefs. And that, in itself, is hard enough to achieve and maintain…. you can’t be a “fake” if you don’t know what yet you are because, really, who is it that you are trying to fake being? It’s like the chicken and the egg. Personally, I would hug your kids, laugh with your husband, and have a nice glass of wine. Doesn’t really get much better than that at the end of the day 🙂 xxxxx

  7. Great post! Short, sweet and simple to comprehend. I have enjoyed Ben’s blog for quite some time now and just discovered your’s today. I have subscribed to your blog as I totally relate to your words of wisdom and wonder. I encourage you to keep up the good work you’re doing here. Cheers!

  8. Andria says:

    Ah, comments made in the heat of emotion can be so biting and hurtful. If anyone expects that kind of 100% consistent virtue from anyone, well, shame on them! We are all works in progress, to be sure…that is the beauty and enjoyment of this life! And I think that including those inspirational words and ideas in your art journal is what journaling is all about…giving yourself a chance to think them through, work them through your mind, set them before yourself as an affirmation. And to share them with us…well, that’s what blogging is all about! I thank you for all the wisdom and inspiration you have to share; keep it coming!

I will reply to comments here on the blog, so please check back if you are looking for a response! I love hearing from you x

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